Fiction Friday #148 – Three Days Past Due

Last week I wrote a short piece of fiction as a way to have a little fun and do something different. To my surprise, it was not only well received, but I was asked to include more of this type of writing on my personal blog.

With the request of more fiction, I began poking around on the web looking for blogs on creative writing. One of the sites to grab my attention was Write Anything, so I subscribed their RSS Feed and began looking at past articles. What sucked me in was their Fiction Friday feature.

The rules are simple, check the site for a story idea, spend at least five minutes writing, and post the results on your blog. Participants are asked not to edit their work and instead let the words flow. I thought it would be fun so I gave it a try. Getting to the game late, I was unable to post on Friday as requested. With that said, I give you Fiction Friday #148 – Three Days Past Due


“Shhh… did you hear that?”

“Foolishness, I can not speak and father can not hear my thoughts like the others.” Seated silently beside the one known as father, they watched the sun slowly set over the busy city below. Sitting with one another, in complete silence, was not an uncommon activity after the evening meal.

“How much I enjoy just sitting here with father after a long day under the hot sun.” His thoughts drifted back to distinct memories from the past when he was distracted once again. Behind them under the dark cover of trees, something was lurking. Silently it crept unnoticed by the two creatures that sat on the soft grass, or so it thought.

Father is unaware of what stalks us, we may be in danger. It has been a time since I have impressed him with my skills as a hunter. If I am going to make this conquest, I must not draw attention to myself” Slowly he rose and gave a great stretch and yawn, trying his very best to look as if he merely walking off to discard the waste of the meal from hours before.

Once out of father’s sight, he quickly made his way around the small home to double back on the creature which stalked in the night. As he neared the dark cloak of the forest, the faint sound echoed in the night once again. “Surely this beast must either be young or dumb, for every step it takes through the dead forest floor is like a wave of sound in ears. This will be a simple hunt but there will be blood. Father will be proud.” Muscles tensed, eyes focused, he entered dark forest with one thing on his mind, the hunt.

Not far from the edge of the forest he caught a glimpse of the creature. With the setting sun it stared out at father as sat lazily in the grass and paid little attention to what was waiting in the woods. “Ah, so we meet again foolish creature” he though to himself as he stared at the menacing beast. It sat concealed from the grassy flat by the foliage of the forest.

Creeping into better position to strike, his mind began to wander to the last time he attacked such a beast. He had done well in stalking it, but father had rebuked him for his failure. Before fleeing, the small black creature manage to sink its razor like claws into the muscle of his shoulder. Before he could react with an attack of his own, the foul creature spewed a retched oil before darting through the brush and into safety.

Shaking his head, as if it would loosen the distracting though, he focused on his objective. “Last time I underestimated such a small creature. This time I will not make the same mistake” As he took a step forward, a dead branch cracked underfoot and the creature turned suddenly. “I’ve lost the element of surprise, I must attack before it breaks from the forest and attacks father

Teeth bared, he leap forward while emitting a low growl. The beast easily evaded his lunge and hissed with a fury that sent a shiver down his spine. The creature now had the upper hand and was getting into position to spew its oil when a familiar sound filled his ears.

“Syrus, you better not be off chasing skunks again!” father bellowed as a fine mist of oil erupted into the air. With a yelp and all the power Syrus could muster, he broke from forest and barreled into father, sending them both sprawling onto the soft grass.

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5 comments On Fiction Friday #148 – Three Days Past Due

  • Very well done! I was thinking Syrus was going to be the “hunted” creature. That was a nice twist 🙂

    Mike

    • Mike,
      As soon as I read the prompt for the story “Shhh… did you hear that?” I immediately wanted to work Syrus into the story somehow. Rather than the typical “man and his dog” story, I wanted to put thing in the Dog’s perspective without making it too obvious.

      I also knew that the second I made mention of Syrus my regulars would know that the primary character was my dog. It was a fun little exercise and I look forward to next weeks topic.

  • Hmm, I just realized that there is a glaring hole in the story. Unless you know who “Syrus” is, the story doesn’t make it clear that he is a dog. I kind of hint at it, but i don’t ever reveal. In any case, Syrus can be found at the link below

    http://www.waltinpa.com/2009/12/28/woke-up-to-syrus-using-my-arm-for-a-pillow/

  • Seriously, that was very good. Are you really getting the writing bug now?

    • I think so. I went as far as to go through the “Fiction Friday” prompts and select another one which will be posted on Wednesday. Depending on time, I’d like to do this weeks prompt on time have it posted on Friday.

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