The Creeper – Chapter 2

Yesterday I posted my Fiction Friday entry for the Write Anything blog. Despite having a clear idea of what I wanted my piece to be, I found myself quickly running out of time. I managed to write the early portion of the story which left the storyline hanging.

What happened to Tom? Where did he wind up? Did he encounter The Creeper? These were all questions that went unanswered. To try and clear up some of those questions and take one step closer to the ultimate goal of the piece, I wrote a second segment. This piece follows the guidelines of Fiction Friday and comes unedited.

Even with the addition of eight-hundred more words, I’m still a long way off from where I want to be. I think that perhaps I’ll have to do a handful of added pieces to finally bring this to the conclusion I had in mind. Take a look at the piece I have for you today and let me know what you think. if you haven’t read the first portion of the story, I would suggest you check that out before moving on to the story below.

The Creeper


The Creeper – Chapter 2

The world was changing. What was once an eerie open field highlighted by a blazing white moon was slowly becoming filled with the reddish light of the rising sun. Tom looked around, blinking through sandy eyes, taking in his new surroundings. Still as he lay throughout the night, he could not sleep. His mind raced and tears came and went in waves.

“Where am I?” Tom asked himself in a dry whisper. He found that talking to himself throughout the night was more comforting than listening to the blowing wind as he sat alone in a strange place. He sat on the cool dirt watching the waist high grass bend and sway in the breeze. “I wonder if this is what its like to be dead”. The words hung in the air. Tears bit at his puffy reddened eyes.

Tom was suddenly jarred from his thoughts when he felt something poke him on the back of his neck. In a fluid motion, Tom swept his hand back and over his head to swat at the cold, wet, thing touching him. As his fingers made contact there was a sudden yelp which sent Tom scrambling to his feet.

In haste, Tom’s feet tangled upon themselves and he was sent sprawling back down into the small patch of moist dirt. “Please don’t hurt me, I’m sorry!” Tom screeched out as he rolled over to face his attacker.

“Its alright, there is nothing to fear young boy”. The words were gentle and comforting. Tom eased open his tightly shut eyes to peer up at the source of the words.

There stood a man of average height with dark hair and blue eyes. He wore a worn leather vest that appeared at least twice the mans ago. His pants were made of cloth and looked rather odd when compared to Tom’s dirty blue jeans. Rather than sneakers, the man wore leather boots. What commanded Tom’s attention was the large knife belted to the mans hip.

“As I said, there is nothing to fear. Zeus just startled you, and you him when you gave him that little swat on the nose”. The man knelt down to give his muscular dog a thump on the side and a pat.

“Come with me. You look like you’ve been crying in the dirt all night. Lets get you cleaned up and something warm in your belly. Then you can tell me all about how you found yourself here, in the middle of nowhere.” The kind man reached out his hand and Tom shyly accepted the help up to his feet.

“Where are we going?” Tom asked with the fear plain in his voice. The man responded kindly, “Back to my cabin. It is a short walk through the grass. We will be there within the hour”.

The man suddenly stopped, lowered his head towards the ground and let out a small laugh. “I’m sorry, I’ve not told you my name nor asked of yours. My name is Karn and as I told you already, this is Zeus. What is your name boy?” the man said as he turned and looked down into Tom’s wide eyes.

“My name is Tom” he spoke with fear evident in his voice. “Very well Tom, I think I have something that belongs to you back at my cabin.” Karn spoke before setting a more brisk pace through the tall grass.

Navigating the hilly field with its unkept grass was more challenging than it appeared. Before long Tom was out of breath and gasping for air. Karn appeared to be out for a leisurely stroll, easily passing through the thick overgrown grass. Zeus, the bull of a dog, plowed through the tough grass making a slight path for Tom to follow.

Wordlessly, the trio trudged on and Tom’s mind began to wander. “I hope I’m not dead. I just want to get back home”. The words shocked Tom’s ears. He spent so much time talking to himself throughout the night that it seemed a natural thing to do.

“You certainly aren’t dead and just as soon as we find out where your home is Zeus and I will get you back there.” Unlike his kind and gentle words from earlier, this time Karn’s words sounded full of worry. “My cabin is just over the next rise, we are almost there. If you like, we can slow down a bit. I’m surprised though, a boy your age should have no trouble running and jumping through this field yet you struggle. Odd.”

Please visit the comment section, located at the head of this post, and leave me some feedback. I would greatly appreciate it!

8 comments On The Creeper – Chapter 2

  • Very good work Walt, of course you do realise that you are going to have some very angry readers if you don’t continue and finish this story for us! When is chapter 3?
    Cheers

    • I’m very well aware of that, and I wouldn’t blame anyone for being angry if the story just stopped, LOL

      I think I might try and spend a little time this afternoon typing up the third installment. I haven’t conjured up what is going to happen yet, I’m still trudging along to the end I had in mind and trying to fill in gaps in between.

      If I don’t post the third part today, I’ll have it up sometime next week.

      Thanks for the comment

  • Great start again! I think you leave us hanging on what was actually hitting his neck. The dog is really only introduced in the very last section of him running through the grass. The description of the man’s vest is missing something. Like you typed too fast for your words.

    I am looking forward to what is at the cabin. Keep up the solid work and like A well aged Cuban don’t stop it!

    • Tadd,
      I was hoping I made it clear enough that the cold wet thing on the back of the child’s neck was the dogs nose. When he swatted at it in reflex, the dog yelped.

      i thought that who paragraph with the mans dress was weak. Because I stuck with the rules of Fiction Friday, I left it unedited and did try to clean it up.

      Thanks for the kind words.
      -Walt

  • Damn cliff hangers :p

    I am picturing a cabin made of children’s bones and little Tom is due to be boiled alive to make part of a new porch muahhahahahahaha

    Mike

  • I’ve just started catching up on my reading from last week and the weekend – I’m glad I waited, I think the second part much more that the first. But now I also wish I’d waited, cause I’m really interested in where he is and why. And how he’ll get back. Hurry up and write the next bit so we can see.

    I really like the bit with the dog’s nose!

    I think it’s really interesting that this prompt has given us both something longer than the usual Fiction Friday writing does. Although I think usually mine does, I’ve just never gotten round to carrying it on until this week.

    • The third part is written but doesn’t help much in closing the story. I spent some time writing it last night. Its kind of funny, in order to make the piece flow and make sense, I have to make it longer rather than rushing towards the end. I think this thing might wind up being a novella before I’m finished with it.

      Of all of the prompts I’ve done so far, I think this one lends itself best to being a long piece (it seems that way to me anyway). While I enjoy writing shorter stories, this one has been much more fun than I expected it to be.

      Thanks for the comment.

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