Three Pillows - 1

Just the other week, my wife and I were talking about things we saw for sale in the Sunday paper. I mentioned kind of liking the idea of having a Slingbox and my wife was eying up a bedding sale at Boscov’s. Like usual, my interest was passing and I didn’t give the Slingbox a whole lot of though. My wife, on the other hand, decided that the sale on bedding was too good to pass up.

Before heading out to Boscov’s to make her purchase, my wife made an attempt at getting my opinion on the bedding. I’ve never cared much what the blankets that I sleep on look like, but she tried to get an opinion out of me anyway. After about thirty seconds of looking, I told her they all looked about the same to me and that she should definitely make the decision on her own.

A bit frustrated with my blowing her off, she made her way out to the store. She wound up coming home with a $249.99 bedding set marked down to about $90.00. Inside this massive bag were eleven pieces that appeared more complicated to me than a Rubik’s Cube.

The following day, after sending all the new items through the wash, they found their way onto the bed. While the end result was a bit frilly for my taste, I can’t complain about the color scheme and pattern. Topping it all off were three pillows of different shape and size. I thought that was kind of odd, why would one bed have such a strange combination of pillows to match the bedding?

Wanting to give the new bedding a test drive, I stretched out on the bed and flipped on the television while my wife was occupied in the living room. After a few minutes, I looked over to see my wife entering the bedroom with a pained look on her face. She blurts out “What are you doing, those pillows are for show! Get off of those pillows before you mess everything up!”.

Not knowing proper pillow etiquette, I leaped up and out of the bed. In an instant my wife was readjusting the pillows behind me and smoothing out the wrinkled comforter. Up until now we have only ever used regular pillows and a comforter. I wasn’t aware that some of the things placed on a bed were merely to look at rather than having a practical use.

I guess that perhaps I’m a bit of a brute. Up until now I had no idea there was such a thing as pillow etiquette. Would some of my bed-savvy readers care to fill me in on any others gems of wisdom that I may need to know, before I upset my loving wife further?