Memoirs of an Assassin #5 – Painful Memories

Today marks the five-year anniversary of my death. While my body and mind may live on, my compassion and love have rotted to dust. One horrific moment in my existence changed my life forever. That moment created the soulless monster that I am today.

Five years.
One thousand eight hundred twenty five days.
Forty three thousand eight hundred hours.

To some, five years seems like a lifetime. Two love-struck individuals come together and the foundation of a family is formed. Sprinkle in a few children and a white picket fence, and that family will blossom. The finishing touch on this picture-perfect family is a puppy.

For me, five years seems like yesterday. The faintest reminder of that sickening night brings back the pain in bright white waves. My heart aches at the loss as it comes fresh to my mind. It feels as though shards of glass are being pumped through my veins. In the beginning it was debilitating. Over time my tolerance for the pain grew. Living with the misery became bearable.

July 24th is always the hardest. With Jill’s death fresh in my mind, I must resolve to visit the man that brought me such misery. In the instant that our eyes meet, hate flares in my heart. The shards of glass that pump through my veins turn molten. Searing hot rage flows through my being. It takes every fiber of my will to resist the urge to kill.

Throughout the fist year of Jill’s death I prospered in my career. I had risen from a mere collector, street-thug, to a cold blooded killer. By pouring forth hate and pain into my victims, I quickly rose through the ranks.

On the first anniversary of Jill’s death, my misery was immense. The blood on my hands controlled the burn but did not douse the flames. My only option seemed to pay a visit to the man that sparked this roiling blaze. I would kill him for killing me.

The first time I locked eyes with my loves killer, I realized that his pain was great. He felt genuinely sorry for what he had done. His eyes begged me to end his life but I refused. By killing the man I would end his suffering. By allowing him to live, and paying an annual visit, I could prolong his pain for the remainder of his life.

Today I pay a visit to Uncle Joe in his assisted living home. As usual, I will remind him that on the night of Jill’s death, I planned to propose to her. Tears will be shed, pain will be felt, but both of our meaningless lives will continue.

This installment of Memoirs of an Assassin was inspired by the latest prompt from Write Anything’s Fiction Friday. The prompt required that we take two characters and allow them to meet in a story. When the idea hit me, I nearly fell out of my chair. The possibilities swirled in my mind and I couldn’t wait to couple Memoirs of an Assassin with a previous piece I wrote for Fiction Friday, Dire Consequences.

My intention was to extend this piece a bit but time was difficult to find this week. My thought was to use the above as a journal entry (like I’ve done in the past) then write a seperate section detailing the encounter. A fussy newborn postponed my writing session and I was forced to write what I could, when I could.

In addition to submitting this piece to the Fiction Friday crowd, I have also included it in the #FridayFlashOpens in a new tab. Twitter group. For more information on that group, and a listing of all entries, please head over to JM Strother’s Mad Utopia.

Memoirs of an Assassin is an ongoing serial. To get caught up from the beginning, please use the links below.

  1. The First of Many
  2. Score a Point for Dear Old Dad
  3. Tough Choices
  4. Ignorance is Bliss

I hope you enjoy reading this installment of memoirs of an Assassin
I look forward to your comments and suggestions


Hi There, My name is Walt White and as the name of this blog suggests, I am a Pennsylvania resident. In addition to having numerous hobbies that I discuss on my blog - Iā€™m also the father of three little girls and a pitbull.

28 thoughts on “Memoirs of an Assassin #5 – Painful Memories

  1. Great work. I’m unfamiliar with the characters, but you were able to create a moving scene. Lots of helpful details paint a broad portrait of your main character. His pain bleeds through the page.

    Also, thanks for posting the link about #flashfriday. I keep catching references to it, but was a little clueless. Think I’ll play along.

    1. Laura,
      I’ve been participating in #FridayFlash for a couple of weeks now and think its great. Its a good way to get some more eyes on your writing and presents a huge pool of stories to read from.

      I’m glad you liked the story. Thanks for the comment

    1. Eric,
      Killing the old man off would have been too easy. Drawing out his suffering just seemed like the right thing to do in this scenario.

      Thanks for the comment

    1. John,
      Killing off the character just felt wrong. Letting him go on suffering seemed like the right thing to do, in the context of the story.

      Thanks for the comment

  2. This post shows a lot of talent, I think.
    When I read the prompt I knew I could anticipate a bunch of “When Harry Met Sally” type stories, and this showed a fresh take on the prompt.
    “Tears will be shed, pain will be felt, but both of our meaningless lives will continue.”
    That was a great way to end it, because to me it showed the gravity of the consequences brought about by the act, on both parties.

    1. Kyara,
      I’m glad you enjoyed the story and thank you for the very kind words!

      When I decided on these two characters meeting to fulfill the prompt, I didn’t want it to be happy. I was hoping to portray stress and discomfort.

      Thanks for the comment

  3. Yeah poetic justice rocks so much more than a simple bullet in the head. On another note I do wondered if your assassin is as dead inside as he believes he is? I look forward to reading more and finding out.

    1. Jason,
      I really had no idea where this serial was going when I got started. I just started shooting from the hip and seeing where the characters took the story. The assassin struggling with inner demons is a direction that I was not anticipating, but I’m lovin’ it.

      Thanks for the comment

  4. Excellent opening. I loved the imagery of this piece and the emotion you evoked. It held my attention through to the end, and I love the promise of a yearly visit. Very nicely done.

    1. Shelli,
      I love the opening too šŸ™‚
      When I typed it out, it just seemed perfect for the story I had in mind. I wish the opening for all my stories flowed that easily šŸ™‚

      Thanks fo the comment

  5. A great twist at the end there, Walt. I like how this character is developing through your pieces. The motivation and the cracks are beginning to show. The journal style works for this character, and coupled with some descriptive passages of action would work well as a serial.

    1. Adam,
      Even though I’m writing the serial, I feel like I’m learning something new about the character each time I sit down to write. I’m having a lot of fun with this and I’m finding that the journal style of this serial is very comfortable for me to write.

      Thanks for the comment

  6. Loved the opening sentence. And the descriptions of his pain – very vivid. Good job (especially with a newborn in the house!).

    1. Scott,
      I’m glad you enjoyed this piece. I was afraid that the description of pain would be coming on a little too strong. I’m glad to see that it wasn’t perceived that way.

      Thanks for the comment

  7. This was wonderful! You did an amazing job of having characters meet up in one piece, and it was heart wrenching, you’ve captured his pain, his death very well.

  8. I’m totally blown away with the link to your previous story, that was ingenious. Were they linked in your mind before this?

    Again this series is reminding me of Random – I really hope you carry on with this. I think it’s totally got the basis to go all the way! Just remember us little people when you make it šŸ™‚

    1. No, linking this serial with my previous story never crossed my mind. When I saw the prompt, my first thought was “Okay, another victim for my assassin“. The more I thought about it, the more I thought that was too easy. I considered not adding to the serial this week and started going over previous pieces looking for characters to introduce.

      When I came to Joe and Jill, I almost fell out of my chair when the idea hit me. Why not tie Jill’s death into my assassin story. I played around with a couple of ideas then settled on my killer being torn up by Jill’s death.

      “Just remember us little people when you make it šŸ™‚ “. This coming from the person with a novel written…. LOL! The thought never crossed my mind, I suppose I’ll have to give it some more time and see if things keep developing so well šŸ™‚

  9. Yes, it would be more heinous to let his uncle live and remember. Opening sentence is a great hook!

    Do like the journal style to the story since lets reader learn directly from the source why he is so anguished that a life of inflicting pain and death is the only choice for him.

    1. Marisa,
      I’m glad you enjoyed this piece!

      This journal style of writing, to me, makes the story feel more intimate.

  10. I really like this installment, good to get more of a look into the guy’s psyche and motivation.
    Letting Uncle Joe live is certainly worse for Joe.

    1. I feel kind of bad for Joe having to go on with the hurt of accidentally causing someones death, but it just felt like the right thing to do for this piece.

      I’m glad you enjoyed reading this. Thanks for the comment!

  11. What a surprise ending. Didn’t see that coming. Your character is really evolving with each series. I look forward to your next story. Keep writing….

  12. Ah, revenge … is anything better?

    A sweet way to do it too … NOT extracting the life from the love’s killer. NIIIIICE.

    Love the tone; felt the white-hot hatred. Nice job!

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